thanks again TH and coach. my instinct to certainly bust the affair. make no bones about it. i will not allow it to go on. option A or trying to have the best of both worlds is a no go.
i have told her in the past that i do not want an open marriage. absolutely not. wow. lawyer tho. ooh. big step, no?
if i read u right Coach, bust the affair first, yes? and if i read u right TH, think lawyer as well (probably as soon as I can). she said she went to one yest but she was in her work out shorts and top. plus no $$ exchanged hands i think, so not believable. OM more believable.
but lawyer before busting? i am still gathering my data. i have employed a couple of things on our computers and soon her mobile. i think the computer stuff will start to show fruit soon. i am working evenings this whole weekend, and i think that is when she does her talking with the OM. couple nights ago i fell asleep really early and during her chat with the OM on FB she told him that she checked on me and i was asleep.
she is using skype on her mobile i think bc she said she would "call" and there are no records of phone calls on our home or cell phones.
wow. my head is spinning. i am afraid. i only wish to do what is right for me, my children and ultimately her. she seems so f-ing confused! all over the place. what is the point to going to MT tomorrow? so we can arrive at "peace" for the sake of our kids and move on to divorce? i for one have no interest in leaving our house and finding a place to live. i am not the one carrying on an EA and possibly PA (for the 2nd time!!! albeit maybe same OM?). my ultimatum will be about her leaving but how can i do that when i need someone to care for the kids (there are 5 after all) and one is a 4 y/o preschooler who goes to am classes M-W-Fr? i work irreg hours from 1st to 2nd shifts mostly w/ some 3rd shifts thrown in. i have no family close by. my mother is in Florida in not the greatest health. MIL? forget it. other family. zero.
we saw a MT last year but it was re-hash of our childhoods, blah, blah, blah. we are seeing someone else who i first started seeing for my anger issues and he seems nice enough. i recently asked him what is his take w/ marriage. he responded that he is neither pro nor con. he only wants us to make what we consider to be the best decision. when he said that, something lurched inside of me. uh-oh i said. i hope he doesn't turn out to be someone who derails my efforts at reconciliation. ugh. i guess that is my fear and stress talking.
