To IWS - here are concrete things to do. You have to fix yourself before you can fix your marriage. If you are not willing to do that, then file for divorce.
The most important thing you have to do first since you cheated is:
GET TESTED IMMEDIATELY FOR SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES.
I noticed you seemed to skip over the advice I offered earlier, go tomorrow to a local doctor and clinic and get tested to see if the woman who cheated with you passed on any diseases.
The clinic will explain it in more detail, but essentially you be going to get tested every three months for the next year bc some diseases take longer to manifest.
You put yourself in this position, then you need to do what it takes to get out of it. If can't take that simple first step, then the tips below are useless.
You can't say that you want to be with your wife unless you know that you are healthy.
1. Go to an individual counseling 2. Figure out why you cheated on your wife 3. Figure out why you lied to your wife 4. Identify the triggers in your life that led to your cheating and eliminate them 5. Consider what may be future triggers 6. Make sure your counselor understands that you may be mentally ill, e.g., depression or narcism-related. Take medications as directed. 7. Create goals for yourself for the next 18 months (or your counselor may have longer or shorter time frames) 8. Follow through on the goals you set for yourself. 9. Begin discussions with wife to see if you can reconcile in marriage.
