So it seems to me that letting him go further or asking him to leave is just further agreeing that there is no hope. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but was trying to follow LRT of no R talks.
For the record, your fear expressed above is probably the #1 fear that newcomers to DBing express: "If I go dim/dark/LRT, won't that just push him/her further away?" It's understandable; this stuff is very counter-intuitive. But what it ACTUALLY shows him is "I love you (he knows that part already, trust me), and this is not what I wanted, but I'll be okay either way, and I value myself to not continue to put up with your crap behavior."
Which is -- bonus! -- simultaneously healthy for YOU, AND attractive to HIM.
Puppy
Oxy, I was struggling with the exact same thing last night, I want him to know (but I was talked down and did nothing). It is very counter-intuitive. But everything you are doing is so good for you, keep doing it, I know it isn't a short term/quick fix, but we all sure want it to be. I find that a full night sleep makes me much more able to cope with the enormity of it all, those nights I don't sleep, I'm a pile of mush the next day.
Take care,
Dagny
Me 48, H49, M24, S14, S11 DB #1 4/2002-8/2003 Bomb #2 August 2010 & he moved out Living with OW
