You are right me and the need to grow up. I was wrong for what I did and realized it when I saw the hurt in my W's eyes and what she did to get me to realize what I was missing.
I am past being afraid that she is leaving...she is gone and the begging, pleading, etc. So I am working on me both mentally and physically so that I am better at realtionships for either my W or if not meant to be someone else.