My walk away wife story

[40andsadintexas]

LOL I knew the nice stbexw could not hang around for long. 

On 08-13-10 I took my s7 to lunch. On the way back to my wife's work I stopped by the bank and got a money order to pay the stbexw child support then took s7 back to work with his mother. 
The following morning there mom took them on a buying spree at walmart new bikes and skate boards for all kids. 
The next week they were with me and s7 told me he knew mom spent my money on all there stuff. I told s7 not to worry about it and if she did that's fine because it is for them. 
Fast forward to tonight I get off work and head home soon as I walk in the door the phone is ringing I answer and it is stbexw.  She started nice then she told me she needed to tell me something. She said that s7 said I was saying how she spent my money I interrupted her and told her that subject did come up and that I had told s7 not to worry about it and if she did that's fine because it is for them. 
I told her that she did not need to be mad at s7 or me then I said well I really don't give a #### if she was mad at me. I was nice but I didn't take any crap off of her. She told me she believed me and I told her that was fine but I didn't care whether she did or not. 
My lawyer won't let me but I would have loved to have told her with all the crap she's doing how she spends  my child support is not high on my list of things to worry about. 

[40andsadintexas]

Journaling

Today has been a pretty good day so far, I have stayed busy at work I dont think about her very much sometimes I wish I could pick up the phone and call her, some days during lunch I miss her, we always ate lunch together 2 or 3 times a week. When we didnt get to have lunch together she would always get a little huffy, it irritated me at the time because I was just trying to make more money for our family, I didn’t appreciate the fact that she liked the time we spent together without the kids I just didn’t get it.
I read a thread earlier that Coach posted about the similarities of the WAS & LBS I have never really thought about what we have in common but its clear she's way better at DB than me she has the GAL, and detaching thing down.
Its frustrating to me that we are 3 months deep into this divorce and nothing is happening, we had a court date for temporary orders, our lawyers agreed to them at the courthouse we never went before the judge then her lawyer never filed the orders with the court, My lawyer has contacted her lawyer on numerous occasions to file the orders but he has not. This makes everything worse because the times she would not let me see the kids, when she bought a new car all of the things she has done to break the temporary orders I cant take her to court on because her lawyer didn’t file the papers.
To me it is amazing that some one who wants to be divorced so bad is setting on her **** and not pushing for a faster end. My lawyer suggested to her lawyer that we go to mediation and get this over with as fast and painless as possible; her lawyer’s response was we have nothing to negotiate.
Surely she realizes what it means to her that I filed a counter suit for adultery, and the my lawyer ask for level 2 discovery which gives him a full 9 months of discovery to did up dirt on her why would she put herself through this. All it would take to stop all of this is for her to agree to 50/50 split custody. I read some where that a woman accused of adultery will feel like she is being undressed in public at the divorce trial. Every thing I have read also says that both of you will end up happier if you come up with an agreement instead of the judge but still she insist on doing things the hard way.
One month ago this week we filed a motion in court for the court to appoint a child’s advocate for our kids, and a order for a physiatric evaluation on both myself and the STBEXW today they are still setting on the judges desk waiting to be signed. I just wonder why this is taking so long.
We are starting to see some behavioral problems with our S7. This worries me because he has always been so well behaved I don’t guess this is very unusual but it bothers me wish I knew ho to put a stop to it but its hard to control anything as a weekend dad and a mom who wants to be friends with the kids..

Rant Off back to work

[40andsadintexas]

Coach or Puppy please advise me on how to stay dark with her. Since Sunday the STBEXW has found some reason to call me every day, this is new. I'm not sure how to handle it. When I talk to her I am nice but short, I really don't know what to do because right now she is giving me access to my kids, I really don't want to go back to seeing them every two weeks. I do not think she is interested in me, I don't know what her game plan is. I do know that her reasons to contact me are week at best. I am getting stronger and I am not interested in her dragging me back down at this time. Please help

[40andsadintexas]

My STBEX is about to drive me crazy this week. Every day she has found a reason to call me. The times I have answered the reasons she has called me has been week at best. Last night I went to pickup D10 she came running out of the house so she could talk to me before I left. I am being nice because I am getting access to my kids but I keep all contact with her as short as possible.
When I drove off D10 started telling me that mom said that one of my ex girlfriends called her and gave her the low down on every thing I've been up to not to believe me that I innocent. She said that I have been out drinking and with this woman every night.
This is the same woman who is sleeping with every guy who will give her the time of day, let a possible convicted felon baby sit my kids, and has introduced 4 om to my kids.
My thoughts are she has a guilty conscience so she is trying to make me look bad to the kids.
Any thoughts?

[A_goodman]

I think that is exactly what she's doing. Unless you HAVE been out drinking with some chick, you know it's untrue. If I were you I'd add this to the other evidence you're piling up. Putting the kids in the middle of this is TOTAL BS.

I'm not very knowledgable on the legal side of things, so I don't know the answer to this, but couldn't you just file the D on her? If she and her L want to drag their feet on their suit, fine. I don't think they could do the same in response to yours.

I'm glad you're doing ok emotionally with the thought of moving forward, but this situation has got to be wearing you down. I hope you are excersicing and taking care of yourself physically. You need to stay strong and healthy for your kids.

Good luck man.

[40andsadintexas]

I'm not very knowledgable on the legal side of things, so I don't know the answer to this, but couldn't you just file the D on her? If she and her L want to drag their feet on their suit, fine. I don't think they could do the same in response to yours.

Good luck man.

I have filed for divorce also. The wheels just turn incredibly slow.

[40andsadintexas]

Journaling

Yea I have made it to almost 3:00 with out the stbex calling me today. Being dark is so much easier, and I feel so much better when I put distance between us, and yet I have to walk a fine line because from about mid August she is letting me see my kids pretty much when I want. All through June and July she would not let me see them except every other weekend I thought that was going to kill me. Then almost overnight she started letting them call me, take them bike riding, letting them spend the night on her nights, if she would have acted like this from the start I probably would have never had the cohonies to counter sue her and fight for my rights as a parent, so I guess I should be grateful to her for giving me the will to do the right thing. I have zero regrets about fighting for my kids; I just wish we could get it over with, with a good ending for my kids and my self.
The stbex telling D10 that I am out drinking and hanging with loose women really bothers me, I have always been very conservative even before I was married no one would have considered me a player. My kids do not deserve to be put in the middle of this. From the minute I found out stbex was having an affair I made the decision that I would never lie to my kids to cover up for her, but I would not go out of my way to tell them what she is doing. Turns out I didn’t have to tell my kids anything she chooses to involve them in her crap. Yes I have been on a few dates, I have went and had a few beers with my best friend since the first grade, and yes I have done some things that I am not proud of since the D bomb hit but I have made and effort to keep all of this out of my kids lives. She should remember that had she not filed for divorce none of this would be happening, divorce may actually be the best solution for us but don’t lie to my kids and tell them your suspensions as fact.

[40andsadintexas]

Journaling

Oh gosh I would love to get of this rollercoaster ride. All week I was irritated because the stbexw kept calling me. This morning I wake up and wish that she would call me. I guess its normal I will go for 4 or 5 days where I feel good know my life is going to be ok after the D is final. And other times like today I would give anything to piece my life back together. I guess this is why we call it the roller coaster ride.
Last night was Thursday night visitation I had all three boys, D10 had cheerleading practice and her mom took her to buy some last minute things she needed before there first pee wee football game this Saturday, so it was late around 9:00 before I took the boys home. When I left S7 ask me where I was going, and I told him to ride my bike to get a little exercise before I went home. S7 wanted to go and I told him it was too late he needed to get ready for bed. S7 asked his mom if he could go and she told him yes, so I think I learned a valuable lesson about my relationship with the stbex last night, right now what ever I want she will want the exact opposite of. I have been noticing this for a few weeks but last night I started thinking I could use this to my advantage.
The stbex is making sure to keep our children informed of her love life. Last night while riding our bikes S7 informed me that mom had told him that the week they were with me she had three dates, and she was scared that no one was going to ask her out because she had 4 kids. I am not going to bust my brains trying to figure out why she is feeding my kids this stuff, but my gut feeling is so they will tell me and make me jealous. What ever her reason for sharing this with my kids it sure doesn’t seem like a very smart thing to tell your kids when your divorce is not final and you are in a custody fight. This type of behavior is exactly the opposite from what my lawyer told me to act.
Its taken 3 months but I finally broke the code of the true meaning of “were going to be best friends after divorce” really means. What the stbexw really mint to say was If you lay down and roll up in a fetal position and let me kick you every time I want to I will bless your life by talking to you and using you every time I need something from you. I have your number don’t call me I will call you.
Sadly this is not working very well for her!

[40andsadintexas]

Yea it's a long weekend with the kids. I have seen my kids everyday this week. This makes me happy, when I have my kids all is right in the world.
I hope every one has a great weekend, keeps busy, and don't think about the stbex, thats my plans!!!

[40andsadintexas]

I know it's no big deal but some of the things she dose is about to drive me to drinking but today she wanted to talk to me so she had d10 call me at work and say mom wants to talk to you then she handed her mom the phone. This just really ticks me off were both middle aged act like it. If you want to talk to me then call me. I love talking to my kids but if she want to talk to me then she needs to call me.
Rant off