The A was June 08 to Aug 08. My wife (married Dec 05) concoted a couple of schemes in July and Aug 08 that snapped me out of my fog.
I said in my original post that my wife never pulled away and in fact we were like a newly wed couple weeks and days before she left. In fact I could see it in her eyes and the glow of her smile Friday, July 2nd. She left once she got her RN license and had a job lined up at the nearby hospital. I wrote he resume' her letter for the interviews abd her Than you letters. She left whe she had security.
I am identifying a lot with Hurting here. Since I had an EA 4 years ago and my H says he just never got over it. I am realizing now that our WAS's are very similar. My H tried in his own way to talk to me about our SSM a week before the bomb. I suspect because he was having another EA at the time and wanted to walk away "guilt free" by telling himself he at least tried-without really trying. I think it was his game plan all along. Reading other people's sitches has been really helpful with seeing what is going on in my own.
M 45 H 44 no kids-one great dog M 15 yr in Oct T 18 yr Bomb 6/10 "I can't be your husband any more"
Definetly agree to that and have in some respects. My parents were saying the samething until they met her. Then they fell in love with her. But it affected me.
I would be shocked if there was OM prior to her leaving. My W dedicated so much of her time from Jan to May with school. She wanted a certain GPA for a future Masters. I know because I edited all of her paper and believe me there were many. From May to June she focued on the NCLEX exam for her RN license and I helped her study for that as well. I also took her to Spain and Turkey for two weeks in June.
My W is a smart lady, but I don't think that she could have juggled all of that and worked at the hospital. And besides with my paranoria I had spyware on my pc and the only thing I saw was her looking for Aparments every time we had a fight. I thought it was her mechanism for blowing off steam.
She may have a guy now, but I do not know where she lives and I do not know her phone number and besides I don't want to waste energy now speculating. I do know that she has kept all of my emails that I sent her since she left.....why is that (they are all positive and not increminating).
As for keeping emails, legally they can be used to prove various things, from promises for items, to harassment, to stalking. What you perceive to be non incremaniting and positive can be twisted and taking as harshly as they choose.
I'm currently in the middle of a war because my others choose to perceive an email that wasn't rude or meanfrom mine or my L perspective but according to my MIL actions I'm going to pay. All because I informed my x that I would not accept giving up my rights to our house. And informed her of my intent of keeping it, but would negotiate if presented with a decent offer.
I will keep that in mind the next time I email her. I have only sent 4 or 5 emails in 8 weeks. Mostly saying "Hello I hope all is well with you and your orientation(new job)." The only one where I admit to the A was the apology email that I sent this week. My W is a very sentimental person. She has even kept rose petals from roses that I sent her 6 years ago. I think knowing her she is keeping them for sentimental reasons...I pray that my sitch does not get down and dirty like apparently is.
I have an assignment for you this weekend. Start a new excercise routine if you haven't already. Get up, stretch a little, and then drop and give me 20!
If you have some dumbells, use them. If you have a dog, get out and walk that dog (good for bonding anyway).
I would like to see you put some focus on YOU. Time to build yourself up. New haircut, new excercise routine, and then in a couple of months, some new clothes for the new YOU.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
I actually did join a gym right after she left because I knew that I had to do something different...just didn't know at the time what is was....
So I left her a short nuetral message telling her the mail is in the mailbox. It seems like a small step, but it is the first unsolicited email that I got from her since July 2nd. I just need to be patient so she will thaw out a bit so we can communicate.
