I am being honest. All of the things she brought up I cannot argue against. Other than when she stated that she wanted to leave 6 yrs ago she was making wedding arrangements then. I have done a lot of reflecting, which has helped me develop my plans for 180's. I was controlling, jealous, manipulative, sought the affection of OW....etc. I have focued on the past me, but not dwelled in it (that much anyway) so that I can be a better me.
I feel for you Hurt. Since we also have no children, there is very little contact between H and I. It almost makes it more difficult I think. My H didn't like to "fight", so he never told me what was bothering him, and he is even less inclined to discuss R now. Even though we are still living in the same house 4-5 days a week, we talk about very little. After 6 weeks of no R talks I am about to tear my hair out for just a crumb of information about what he's thinking.
M 45 H 44 no kids-one great dog M 15 yr in Oct T 18 yr Bomb 6/10 "I can't be your husband any more"
I went ahead and wrote the email to my W apologizing for the A and the hurt that I caused her and then I let her go. I have not read anything on infidelity but I will definetly....maybe this weekend during the hurricane.
Ya, you will have PLENTY more opportunities (needs) to apologize if she comes back and starts spewing. I believe the spewing is good because that's one way the negative feelings ultimately subside -- when they can vent and express their hurt and anger and you can validate their feelings and apologize for hurting them.
Is that right others?
Me-53 W-49 D22,D18,D15 T-Since-12/2001 Married-9/2004 She Moved Out-5/28/2010 Piecing start-04/2011 Now-together Thread http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2079304
Oxy, Finally someone who has not spoken with their spouse in months. I found out from my W's sister that their parents get overly upset when their daughters hurt. So my W and her sister have learned over time to internalize all negative emotions so they would not upset their parents. I am sure that my W's parent do not know that we are seperated and it has been 2 months.
With no kids there is definetly difficulty trying to find a method for communication. That is why I am not offering to tell her to forward her mail. this is my only opening at this time.
I have not brought up any R or M talks with my W and I suggest that you do the same. I am following Coach's advice and keeping a little mystery about myself and only bring up neutral topics or subjects relative to your H. I feel for you. There are time I just want to say "hey why aren't to talking to me", but I know this is what she is waiting for (the old me).
Something just isn't adding up here, am I the only one who is seeing this?
He had and A 2 years ago. She decides to leave because of his A, after she fought to get him back.
Originally Posted By: hurtinhartford
So the week before she left we were like newly weds, except the Wednesday before July 4th that is when I heard LYBNILWY. An hour later she was crying embracing me and kissing me telling me that she did not mean it. That Friday I took a half day off and we were again like newly weds. Great passion and we just lay in eachothers arms kissing and gazing into eachother eyes. Her eyes were bright and she had this radiant smile. I never saw her pull back from me.
Why suddenly would she decide she want to leave, especially during the "honeymoon week"? You can't sign a lease in one day. She couldn't have went out on July 4th, when most apartment places are closed, and then have it official on the 5th.
I have a gut feeling here, someone tell me if I'm not the only one. This sounds like an A is going on with your W. She has alot of guilt after signing a lease without your knowledge? That's it?
This doesn't add up fellas.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
