OMG--totally embarrassing. I would want to ask him what he read and what he thought... HAVE A SUPER FUN ROAD TRIP!!! GOOD GALING!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
So I go downstairs this morning and see that things from the chest are all [censored] strewn about the bathroom! I went nuts!!!
Strewn all over the floor. Obviously not casual reading. Sounds more like rifling through the chest. And you had to clean it up? 'supwitdat?
Originally Posted By: Mrs. A
I have since moved my journal to a new hiding place, and now I'm just trying to stop worrying about whether or not he saw it! I don't know how I feel about that. One part of me doesn't care and the other part is mortified.
Ask him. You need to know exactly how boundary-less he is.
Have a great trip. You deserve to.
Peace,
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Yep, I DO want to ask - but I won't! I have the worst slanderous stuff about my xMIL in there. And I have Come To Jesus moments documented and all KINDS of crazy stuff. Oh well, he didn't have to read it and I don't even know if he did!
NM, a couple of days ago you reminded me that Mr. A is my eXH and he needs some time to miss me, and you are TOTALLY right. I'm letting it all go with Mr. A right now.
By "it all", I'm talking about the connection that has just recently happened. In the meantime, I'm going to look back over DR to get some perspective.
I started doing that already. DR says to recognize the little changes. Well, there have been a lot of little changes with Mr. A. But what about the fact that he actually TATTOOED "Kimberly Ann's" name on his [censored] chest after a few months, but waited 10 [censored] years to MARRY ME! Ok, Mrs. A has anger issues.
On a related note: I thought briefly about moving to "Divorced But Not Done" - but I'm not there, not even close. I'm just trying to survive the big D, and so is Mr. A. I think we're throwing a lot of nonsense at each other right now and a time-out will do us both good.
BUT - I'm going to try to journal tomorrow about things that have been going better with us. I'm not ready to nail this coffin quite yet...
I do NOT recommend driving 1400 miles over a 3-day weekend!!! Today is my first day back at work and I'm feeling pretty rough.
I was hoping this little bit of time away would refresh me and give me some perspective on all that went on last week with Mr. A, but no such luck. So I don't have much to write at the moment.
Welcome back. Yes 1400 miles is a lot. I went to Florida last month and drove the 870 miles straight through going down - ughhh. Decided to break it up a bit on the way back and did it over two days - much nicer trip.
Just take it slow with everything, including Mr. A. As long as you keep your head about you, clarity and what path you need to take will eventually become apparent.
Of course I can't close without a Michigan comment! Big weekend in Ann Arbor - I'm hoping the game is on the Big Ten Network. Go Blue.
Wow, I'm in a crappy mood today, BUT I'm still so glad that fall is upon us. Summer is such a crazy, lawless time of year, and I'm always so happy when the structure and business of fall comes. That doesn't stop me from complaining about it sometimes, but really I do love it.
We're kicking into high gear at work, which is good, but I'm still not all there because of everything with Mr. A. Luckily a lot of my coworkers are still winding down from their summer vacations too, so we're just a tribe of idiots right now. Not to worry - we'll mesh soon enough.
As for Mr. A, I don't know. When we were only seeing each other very rarely, it was easier to DB. I put a lot of thought into each interaction. Now I'm having trouble processing things quickly enough, and so I'm feeling pretty unsettled. Adding to that, of course, is his weird behavior.
BA, you - and everybody else! - advised me to take it slowly with Mr. A. How does that work? And especially how does that work with the complaints I know he has about our marriage?
I'm not being sarcastic, I really mean it. Let's say (this is true) that one of Mr. A's complaints was that I had time for everything but him. Well I look back on it now and say, Yes, I did put other things ahead of time spent with Mr. A. That was a mistake!
So now I want to show that I've recognized that mistake and I won't be like that anymore if we reconcile. But how do I actually show it in a cool and detached way, without acting like we are more committed than we actually are?
Mr. A left me last Thursday morning and we didn't talk again that day, nor did I expect us to. He did know that I would be out of town for the weekend and he knew exactly what I was doing. He didn't totally know the timeline.
He texted me on Friday evening (as I was driving) to remind my mom (who was housesitting) to return the video we had rented. I texted him back a thank you for reminding me. I also said that I would let him know when I finally got to my destination.
Seven hours later, I sent him a quick text to tell him that I had arrived. He texted back, "That's awesome!! Wish I was there with you:)"
I said, me too.
The next day, Saturday, I sent him a little message about an observation I had in NYC. He didn't write back.
He texted me Monday evening. We talked Monday night. By mutual agreement, we spent the evening and night together on Tuesday, which was great. We didn't have another date scheduled.
He called me at noon on Wednesday from work to tell me that he was having a crazy day. What was I doing at night?
I told him I had plans to go out with a friend and he asked if he could come over later. I said sure.
So we were together last night onto this morning. We didn't get intimate - he said he just wanted to go to bed. I haven't heard from him since.
Meanwhile, a part of me is just plain tired, a part is crabby, a part is pissy about his evasiveness, a part is glad just to go to bed, a part is ready to tell him off.
