My Rollercoaster Continues

[ericmsant2]

2G

I second what Seeking said and that is that you have my utmost respect.

As Time pointed out...drop the rope. Let his as* go.

I can find someone who respects me

Start by respecting yourself. Your respect is not define by someone else. It is defined by YOU.

2G - right now you need to make this about YOU. Here is what I would like you to do.

Now that he has filed, what are YOU going to do? What are some of the things that you need to do?

For example:
- Secure legal council
- Create a budget so that you know what you need to take care of YOUR kids.
- Determine what you will need in terms of medical insurance and premiums
- Where do you want to live?
- What car do you want to drive?

Once you start doing these things you will feel less like a victim and you will begin to realize that YOU and YOU alone can control YOUR life.

Yes you will miss your H - but as seeking said...he is so far gone. Personally, I would like to slap the chit out of him for doing this at a time when you are pregnant and need him...but then i realize that he is sick...he is hurt...so I have compassion.

The compassion that I refer to does not mean that you allow him to step all over you. It means that you can understand that right now he is f*cked up in the head and can only think about himself. You sweetie...need to think about YOU.

You can do this...you can.. It may be scary right now but as you face that fear as you begin to piece together your life you will see things that you have not seen yet...the best thing that you will see.....

Is what you are made of and who you are.

God Bless,
Eric

[2gthrButApart]

I'll post more in a bit, I have to help the kids w/ their HW....but since I don't agree to the D he stated he took all $$ from the joint acct and now I have to come up with all of the $$ due for bills this wk, rent, electric, groceries, etc. B/c he knows I'm not currently working and have zero income coming in. So basically it's "give in to his way and SIGN NOW, or nothing" I will not be bullied. I will take him to court for CS and Alimony, 2 things I never planned on doing. But he's made this ugly. Sounds like affair talk to me.

[ericmsant2]

2G

I have thought about your sitch several times today and your recent post really pisses me off.

The nerve of this piece of chit to take the money you need to feed your kids and continue to house them. First I would start contacting attny to see if you can get a free consultation asap. I would also contact the local court and see what type of representation you can get for yourself free of charge.

I would then contact the court and find out how you can file for an immediate order of support. He does not want to pay the bills - well then the courts will make him.

I would not sign a fu*king thing. Nothing.

Do you have family that can help?

Eric

[seeking answers]

2,
Eric is spot on. Do what you have to do to support the kids and yourself. The courts won't look to favorably on this.

Do not feel guilty at all for doing this. Your H is going to be angry. Stay dark and let the legal system handle this.

You're right, he has made this ugly. Remember that. These are choices he alone has made, let him pay the piper.

[ericmsant2]

2

Do not feel guilty at all for doing this.

Think about this for a sec.. your H, who clearly is in a crisis has left you to fend on your own. The tendency would be to be kind to him (once you are over the initial shock of all of this) - you can; however, you need to really protect yourself.

Now, I am not saying go full out and screw the guy. NO - Personally, as hard as it is I follow one basic principal. Do what is fair, right and just. No more. No less.

You really need to sit down and figure out what you will need to support yourself and your kids. How you expect custody issues to work. What you want. In your anger you want to lash out and "make him pay" - this will do no go. It will not have the desired effect. You may feel good for the moment but you will regret your choice later on. That is why I cannot stress enough that now is not the time for you to get revenge. Now is the time for you to sit still, think long and hard about what you want. Then...with God's help...begin to really heal.

Please keep us informed of how things are.

God Bless,
Eric

[seeking answers]

2,
I probably should have clarified myself a little better. By no means do I mean go out and be vindictive or vengeful. Get what is rightfully yours and the kids. Nothing more, nothing less.

What I meant by not feeling guilty about it is doing what you have to do for the kids and yourself and that means if you have to do it legally, then so be it.

Your H is clearly off his rocker.

[2gthrButApart]

I'm beginning to think theres no such thing as MLC. Its just a title to put on a selfish person who isn't willing to accept 100% responsibility. They get to "find themselves" at an old age. Should have done that before marriage and especially before creating kids. I'm just done with the whole teenage behavior BS. I have an 8 & 10 yr old and a baby on the way. I want no part with a teenager. The rude behavior the selfishness.... Enough is Enough already.

[iluvme55]

Child support is one big joke......especially if it is an interstate case.....mine is behind months.... Tx cant send letters till Ga closes that case..then Tx can go after him. but Ga has 90 MORE days to close it out.....bu then he will be 6 mo ths. behind and then they can start collection letters.....what a joke.....

[2gthrButApart]

My H pays 100% of the bills here until I begin to work after the baby is born. He works two jobs to make sure the girls and I are covered. So he's responsible in that aspect. But the drinking and sudden hanging out all the time are frustrating. I guess bc they're out of my control
Which is my problem.

[2gthrButApart]

But it proves he's not much happier since moving out 6 months ago. Had he been he'd be sticking to his gym routine, his healthy eating and getting to bed early to get proper rest. But instead he's going to happy hour, hanging out and drinking almost every day. Doesn't sound like someone who's happy with his new living arrangements to me. But its his choice.

He could also be celebrating his new freedom! Lol