Wow. I read this and thought, "These two have really battered each other." That was my first thought.
Can I ask: Why do you want to stay married to him? Is it the security? The old memories? Or do you really love him? What does love mean to you?
Times are tough. I sympathize with you. I can feel the pain from your writings. But I think you need to separate the issues. Your mother may need you right now. You need you right now.
It sounds like you both agreed to end the marriage and you are moving out. Did I miss that?
As for you - sleep. Take care of you first. Kind of like the oxygen mask on an airplane - take care of you first before you start looking to do anything else.
Put your mind at rest and get some sleep. Things will look very different after you do that.
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
