WAW left on Independence Day and not communicating

[bustorama]

Hey Hurtin,

I'll echo what John said and something I've only REALLY gotten around to myself. What you and I did was egregiously wrong. Our WAS did NOT deserve it, and we are fully responsible for failing to control ourselves and breaking a boundary we should never have broken.

However, in terms of the state of our current relationships, not EVERYTHING is our fault. There are ways that our WAS may have contributed to the deterioration of the R (with us) before, during and after our affairs. If you haven't yet read infidelity books, I suggest you read some because understanding these aspects will be important to affairproof your future relationships (with W or someone else).

When you apologize to your spouse in future, I suggest you take FULL ownership for your affair behavior at the same time that you take FULL responsibility for your PART in the deterioration of your marriage. My understanding is that the WAS understanding that they played a PART in the deterioration of the marriage (NOT the affair per se) is a key aspect towards possible reconciliation and piecing.