My W is a lot younger than me. I was told by friends and family that when she graduates from nursing school that she would leave me. She was spending 110% of her time with school and I was traveling about 65% for work so we had our seperate lives. No M issues just at different areas of the R.
I met OW while traveling to St. Pete, Russia in Feb 08 she was my translator then I saw her again in June of 08. We became freinds and eventually turned into an intense EA. I thought I was falling in love with OW and I told my W LYBNILWY and was close to being a WAS. She concoted a few schemes to get me jealous, which worked (men a primative) and it snapped me out of my fog.
The problem was that I never apologized to my W and she internalized her hurt. And to compound the issue I use to bring up the OW name as a joke stating "I guess I have to go back to plan B if you leave me." It was guilt, paranoid control, STUPID, low self-esteem....any negative names you can name it. But I did not realize that I was hurting my W each time that I said it.
So the mind of a cheater...for me I was missing our closeness ( her school and my travel) and low self-esteem (confidence) a challenge to see if I could attract someone else. At the time I was severly overweight (285, 44 inch waist). Now I am 205 with a 34 inch waist...I would like for my W to see me now (180).
