My W just emailed me for the 2nd time in 60 days. It is nothing special just requesting that I leave all accumulated mail in the mailbox. But she at least said Hi and Thank you,. I plan not to respond tonight, but respond in the AM with a short reponse. W mail is in the mailbox. It seems like each time that I let her go and go dark that I get a response. Am I on the right path?
It's just an email. If you don't respond, what's the worst thing? Did she ask you a question? Or did she just ask you to do something? Does that email warrant a response?
Sounds to me like she didn't ask you a question. She asked you to do something - i.e. leave all accumulated mail in the mailbox.
Stay dark.
----"Et tu, Brute?"---- me:28 W:24 S4 T:6 M:4 EA Exposed: 5/21/10 Bomb: 6/20/10 (Father's Day) NC w/ OM: 7/10/10 W moved out 8/21/10 http://bit.ly/aOrZne - My sitch
I am not sure that the IC was telling me what my W said. However, when she told me that my W still loved me, but was confused she looked in my eyes and was nodding yes. Maybe I am reading too much into it, but I would not think an IC would say that and give me false hope. I'm not a body language expert, howevershe was bent over as though she telling me a secret and nodding yes seemed to be acknowledging a grain of truth.
I am not sure that the IC was telling me what my W said. However, when she told me that my W still loved me, but was confused she looked in my eyes and was nodding yes. Maybe I am reading too much into it, but I would not think an IC would say that and give me false hope. I'm not a body language expert, howevershe was bent over as though she telling me a secret and nodding yes seemed to be acknowledging a grain of truth.
Get a new IC. She should not be telling you anything like that if she wants to save your M. IMHO.
I am really attempting to make my 180 in regard to anger a permanent characteristic. I stopped watching the news (I was a real news and political junky), reading don't sweat the small stuff and pipe in some classical or soothing music whenever I feel stressed. That was another issue my W had in regard to my demeaner. And she was right.
You both recommend that I stay dark? I apologized to her earlier this week and let her go as well. I thought I would put the mail in the box and send her a quick email in the AM saying "W mail is in the box." Or say nothing at all.
Coach seems to think that I should not go dark since communication is a premium, but get rid of the negative feelings and work on becoming friends, which would mean I would write the quick email and put the mail in the box.
I feel like I am walking in a minefield. I think going dark worked a few weeks ago when I also semi let her go....but the reconcilation stages seem to make since as well.
I stopped watching the news (I was a real news and political junky)
She is not going to see you "not watching the news".
Right now she wants to get her mail.
What are you going to do about that?
Did you neglect her during your feasts to satisfy your appetite for political junk?
Do you remember how she may have felt like? Did you notice?
I know you don't want to hear this, but if you want to achieve anything at all you need to get used to it. There are vets here from whom you haven't heard yet. (I'm not one of them)
She is not going to see you "not watching the news".
I still like it though. If it bleeds it leads. Keep you all worked up.
Not to mention, it's an election year, so the puffed up, sanctimonious demagogues are probably climbing out of the woodwork to rattle everybody's cages and get them all worked up, angry, aggitated, and fearful.
Bet not watching the news helps him
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/03/1001:26 AM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
