Today I took my D to take her driver's test...she passed...OMG she can drive by her self now. Don't get me wrong she is a very good driver...but still.
We talked about D driving my car in the future and since it's a newer expensive huge SUV, we agreed that maybe she should drive dad's older car for the first few times...just in case....we were joking and laughing about it. So she called her dad and asked to borrow his car. He said OK and I dropped her off at his place.
He was outside. I stayed in my car and after he talked to D for a bit he came up to my car and accusingly said "You won't let D drive your car?" The tone and the look he gave me was so judgmental....he made me feel like the worst mother...like if I was denying D the basic necessities of life. I got upset....I guess the way he talked to me brought back memories of the past year when he constantly criticized me and I reacted and angrily said "That's none of your business, that's between me and D" and I drove off. Boy was I boiling. When I calmed down I thought that I probably overreacted a bit, but by the time I got back home there was an apology e-mail from H in my mailbox.
H - about your car. I told D that I understand your reasoning for not letting her drive your car until she is more experienced. If I spent any time thinking about it before, I would not be asking you. If I came across as questioning you... I apologize, that wasn’t my intent.
Me - Thank you for the apology. I’m also sorry that I reacted so strongly. I got upset because I felt that you were questioning my judgment right away without hearing the whole story. Yes I told D that she can't have my car today, because I'll need it. I also told her that on most days I'll need it and that I can't be without a car for long. And yes we were joking that maybe she could start with driving your car before she gets into mine. Never did I say that I won't allow her to drive my car in the future. I'm a single parent now and I'm doing my best to make all the decision that we used to make together by myself. It’s only natural that you’ll not agree with all of them.... I’m very proud of D for passing the test, she is a good driver and I believed that she would make it. She was sooooooooo nervous.
This seems like a small incident... But somehow it truck me as significant. H seems to be more sensitive to my feelings and is willing to admit a mistakes and apologize. We are both trying to communicate better....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
