Hey Guys, Hope everyone is doing well, haven’t been on much lately just been super busy with school, work and I took my S on vacation. We went to the Outer Banks in NC for 3 days; seas were rough as Hurricane was heading up the coast. We had fun it’s just been hard for S. W took S for 2 days on a mini vacation week before to Hershey Park, & said he wished daddy was here.
Well I got thru our anniversary and it has taken me a while, but I have to let W go. Some of the things that helped were well vacation with just S it was great, but hard at times as we planned to do this together. Also just how S brought up thing sometimes.
As I dropped S’s suitcase off & went to take Our Dane for a Walk. W had taken down all the pictures on our family wall of the 2 of us and replaced them. (Fu** I spent a lot of time on that; as it was a surprise for W in our new home). Then I noticed W has put almost everything I have gotten her in the donate pile or what had to do with us (I guess that’s her way of getting thru this). Finally one thread that made total sense was the one Coach had posted: What does the WAS and LBS have in common? It’s so true
“why try and fight or hold back someone who is desperately trying to self-actualize and find their true self? That's the wisdom and magic of letting them go. If you love them wouldn't you want them to be the best they could? The WAS also wants you to grow and be your best, they show it by leaving a unhealthy R” A while back my W says she wants me to be happy and I too want W to be happy as well.
I hope she works on her issues someday as she has a lot of things she has never dealt with. I feel sad, but she has to take care of herself to be happy someday. She is a good person despite the pain she has caused me. Maybe one day she will get the message that we could have been something great or maybe not at all.
I do want to make our M/R work, but nothing I have done has helped because I failed to listen. So that has also helped me come to this point it still hurts and I have my days. I don’t deserve this & I’m going to continue to work on myself for me & enjoy the time I have with my S, as he starts middle school on Tues.
Yes I know it’s taken a while for me to get it thru my thick skull & everyone one here has been great. I can’t thank everyone enough!! I hope to catch up on threads, but finals are coming up & due next week. Any thoughts & suggestions are always helpful thanks.
