Puppy - my used the word "cold" when describing my going dark. Also, I explained to my wife that in order to work on myself and be better man, I couldn't be around her right now because it made me fall back into old patterns and behaviors. I think her response was, "I understand you have to do what you have to do. And if that means not being my friend, I understand that". That was a backslide on my part with what I said my reasons for going dark. I should just stuck with "Work on myself, need time alone."
It also conveys WEAKNESS. Like "I can't handle being around you."
My way conveys "I CHOOSE NOT TO be around you, as long as you behave this way, because this is not how friends treat one another."
Big difference. First one says to her "Poor baby can't handle it," and it will tend to actually DISGUST her. Second one says to her "He will not allow me to treat him with crap behavior. God, I hate him right now, but that's also sooo attractive!"
