Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

Puppy - my used the word "cold" when describing my going dark. Also, I explained to my wife that in order to work on myself and be better man, I couldn't be around her right now because it made me fall back into old patterns and behaviors. I think her response was, "I understand you have to do what you have to do. And if that means not being my friend, I understand that". That was a backslide on my part with what I said my reasons for going dark. I should just stuck with "Work on myself, need time alone."

Future - It's a big step to go dark because you fear it will damage the R. Thanks for letting me it's OK to do so.

I know I have to go dark, and I'm willing to. I just don't know if the timing is right now. It's a big question in my mind how I should be when I go into Retrouvaille with her in 8 days. I could argue:

1) Dark - I walk in there detached, I get a good experience of Retro, I basically walk in there the same way she is right now. It will take pressure off of me and her if I go in there without an agenda per say.
2) Light - We have a good friendship still going on and she is more willing to work with me, love me, whatever when we walk into Retro. She feels closer to me when we walk in the door.

Like I said, I'm going dark. Just don't know when. If nothing is improved after Retro I'm definitely doing it then, no question about it. But should I before?