John, I was really surprised when I finally realized that going dark does not damage a relationship. It puts it on hold, and gives time for anger to subside. Lets the WAS feel the real consequences of their decisions. After months of not speaking, meeting in court, ocassional ugly conflicts, my W came to me with the softest tone and asked me how I was. She asked me if I hate how we are now. Asked me if I was willing to meet to talk. I said yes, and when we met, she was back to the woman I knew before all this started, at least for a while. She was respectful, she showed some amount of remorse, she said she missed me. She said she didn't want a divorce. She wanted to try again with me. Unfortunately, after a couple months of movement toward reconciliation, the reality of the damage done to our R became evident and we've stepped back from each other for now. We'll see.
