In my opinion, if there are children involved, a third person (OP) should never be in the picture until the kids have completely stabilized in their new life, probably a couple years. I don't just mean the OP shouldn't be in the kids' lives, I mean there should be no OP period. During that horrible time, any emotional energy a parent puts toward an OP is energy not available for their kids. My W won't admit it, but it's not even remotely debatable. Her obsession with OM made her much less available to the kids at exactly the time they needed her most. I mean, she was literally gone for weeks at a time, right after we separated. The kids were scared and confused, but she justified it to herself "They're safe with their Dad. I deserve this."
