And oh yeah, after we got back on better terms, she never once complained about the way I treated her during those "dark" months. She meekly refers to it as the time "H and I weren't speaking". I was shocked when I could see that deep down she knew she deserved to be treated like that, for her horrible behavior.
Largely the same experience here, FU. My wife only complained that I sounded "robotic", or "cold" sometimes when I was talking to her, but I explained that it was a self-preservation/defense mechanism, and I certainly didn't mean to be cruel or anything, and she understood.
On the contrary, she told me that -- as LIVID AS SHE WAS WITH ME AT THE TIME -- she also RESPECTED me, understood WHY I was doing the things I was doing (confrontation, exposure, firewalling finances, and eventually filing for D) . . . and even THANKED me for fighting for her!!!
