I think your philosophy is ideal if somehow you have a totally rational walk away spouse who is divorcing you because they are unhappy being with you, but otherwise is acting responsibly, respects you, and thinks you're a-ok. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. If it was the case, they probably wouldn't have left to begin with! . . .
Yes, if you're marriage is over, and if your ex is being rational, and is putting the kids needs above their own, then I think the LBS needs to put aside their pride and anger and try to have a good relationship with their ex, for the kids' sake. If they're in fogged out "I'm doing what I want to be happy, no matter the consequences to anyone else" mode, then no, I don't think the LBS should be their friend, at all. The LBS should kick the WAS out of their life, and do everything they can to protect the kids from their wayward parent's impulsive destructive behavior.
I would agree with that distinction, Future. Well-stated.
