Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

UGH this is all so confusing. I'm so torn with whether or not to be her friend right now.

I have made some progress when I'm super loving and nice. That's what she wants in a man - not a distant dark one.

But, on the other hand, I made more progress I believe by going dark.

So my mind is telling me to go dark. But from futureunkown's:

es, if you're marriage is over, and if your ex is being rational, and is putting the kids needs above their own, then I think the LBS needs to put aside their pride and anger and try to have a good relationship with their ex, for the kids' sake. If they're in fogged out "I'm doing what I want to be happy, no matter the consequences to anyone else" mode, then no, I don't think the LBS should be their friend, at all. The LBS should kick the WAS out of their life, and do everything they can to protect the kids from their wayward parent's impulsive destructive behavior.

I believe she is looking out for our s4. I don't post discussions we've had on him, but she wants him to be as much in my life as possible. Granted, she wants primary custody, but still, she's talking about a 60/40 split now, and more along the lines of 50/50 a few years later. So she IS trying to work with me on some degree. She hasn't gone out and gotten a L and blasted me to kingdom come.

I'm torn.

You guys know my sitch - Heart says be a good man and friend, mind says go dark.

Ugh - need some help here. I'm not sure what my next plan is. Keep in mind that we are going to Retro in 1 week. Two things regarding that:
1. Don't want to give her a reason NOT to go by damaging the relationship futhert
2. How would my being dark affect the Retro experience?