Well, it would have been an ok day (started ok) but in the first hour W changed her BBMsngr status to "Things that make you go hmmm" Then, 30 minutes later sent a text (I haven't read it)
and 5 mins ago a call from her cell. (I didn't answer-and no Vmail)
To refresh, she had an affair and left me, remember?
Yep - she sure did. Whatever you do, don't answer her. If you do, make it MUCH later. Don't let her know you've thought about this being anniversary day at all! The status/text/call are tests to see if she still has you where she wants you.
Well, that's my guess anyway. If you do decide to respond, make it upbeat about something totally irrevelant to R and her. I'm glad you didn't take her call or respond to her text.
Well, it would have been an ok day (started ok) but in the first hour W changed her BBMsngr status to "Things that make you go hmmm" Then, 30 minutes later sent a text (I haven't read it)
and 5 mins ago a call from her cell. (I didn't answer-and no Vmail)
To refresh, she had an affair and left me, remember?
Seems Steady elected to play nice with Sunny. You get a gold star for not pulling her pigtail! Also Professor Puppy apparently has signed on a sabbatical leave from this site (going away on an archaelogical dig in Egypt? ). Allen is still around helping others ferreting out affairs!
CD...we all know anniversaries are a tough pill to swallow. Anniversaries and holidays sucked for me and other LBSes as well. Just ride through it not around it.
Perhaps a game plan change is needed since there has been no perceptible movement in W. Since she had an A or continues with her A, I am thinking it is high time to "shock and awe" W by serving her D papers at her house.
Go on the offensive. Jettison the defensive stance.
If W protests or lights a flame into you, remember to set a boundary: that you are not willling to remain in an open marriage. Three people is quite a crowd. Make it her choice to end the A immediately. NNMMG.
However, I would suggest that you set up your own account before serving D papers...no telling what W would do with the money. I've read too many horror stories here where some accounts have been cleaned out by the WAS.
It is something for you to consider carefully, CD.
I think W is getting lulled into a false sense of security. Time to throw some ice cold water on her and SHOCK her into the realization that you are no longer willing to put up with this so-called constructed status quo by continuing her A with the OM.
I'm in the corner for chewing gum in class when I wasn't supposed to. Then, I tattled on Steady. Didn't pull my pigtails but was muttering stuff behind my back! lol SO...he might be in the other corner. Prof Pupy popped back in just in time to hear what was being muttered.....
Allen, AKA The Principal, is roaming the halls. I'd really like to see him pop in on this one!!!
I'm staying in the corner because substitute Wonka just pulled out the big guns!!!!
Meanwhile, poor CD is sitting still in his chair like the good student he is!
I have not chimed in here for a while as the advice has been phenomenal but I know this is a tough day. I will offer this.
The day will pass just as all the other days of the year and the pain will fade.
CD, the sun will rise again tomorrow and you will wake up and be alive.
And it will happen again the next day and the day after that.
Now is not the time to act or do anything, do not make decisions, take no actions, DO NOTHING.
GIVE THIS TIME.......I cannot tell you this enough.
It was the first thing I said to you when I started posting to you and it is the constant in everyone's situation no matter the outcome.
CD, let TIME be your friend, not your enemy.
Wonka, the course of action you suggest may be warranted, may not but I do know this for a fact........
It would be foolish to consider anything on a day like today.
CD, As your friend, I support you and send you my thoughts and prayers today. May you find peace and your suffering be brief, you are building character today believe it or not dealing with the emotions of today and coming through on the otherside will make you a stronger person.
It is hard to see from where you are at right now, but I can see it clearly.
You will see it too...........with the passing of TIME.
God Bless ~C
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
No...absolutely not today. Today is time to take a breather from all of this. However, at some point, CD will need to consider the "shock & awe" method down the road if there is still NO movement from W. I'd wait a bit more...two weeks or so since OM apparently is going to start school very soon.
There are some pieces that need to be cleared up and confirmed with some intel gathering:
1) A still ongoing with OM? 2) W moved out of OM's house? 3) Where is W currently at the moment?
So many unanswered questions. And what are the contents of W's text to CD? This information will give us some indicators as to where things currently stand with W.
CD...we stand ready to support you. And a good job of not biting...this shows that you've progressed further along the path and finding that inner resolve not to react. Good job!
Also Professor Puppy apparently has signed on a sabbatical leave from this site (going away on an archaelogical dig in Egypt? 
). Allen is still around helping others ferreting out affairs! 
