Coach, I respectfully must say that sitch's like the above poster, and mine, happen quite often as well.
I wsa the "WAS" for all intents and purposes. Our R had gotten very, very bad. I can only control myself so I GAL, did some 180s, started a class, and lost weight.
My H filed and served me 4 weeks ago. He has no plan. He reacted to what he thought was going to happen (that I was going to file and leave him).
This was not my intention. I wanted to lead him to a better R by getting better myself first. But it scared him.
He is miserable, depressed, sits on the couch all day and watches television. There is no OW or anything like that (and in your scenario above, there doesn't seem to be any mention of OW or OM. And that does factor a LOT in these sitchs).
There are no 180s for him at all. Nothing. He has not GAL in the least. He doesn't even seem detached that much. He still calls me "mom". He wants me to do things with him.
He wanted to be the one in control and call the shots. And that happens all the time around here.
I think that many times the LBS is the healthier of the two. The healthier one looks for answers outside themselves. Not in someone else. And they are able to let go of anger a lot quicker--it usually doesn't take people posting here long to see that they have had some responsibility in what went wrong, and then they aren't quite so angry any longer.
The LBS is open to an internet site that will get them back on track. The WAS? Don't know many that come here. You are the exception to the rule.
