Where does the WAW go

[john28]

Doodi, it does sound like you're confused, and that is a good thing. That means you're not rushing to any conclusions like a lot of WAS do.

I would suggest pro-marriage MC. A great resource is: http://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com/

You can find one in your area.

Your problem is the same problem that my W and I had before she moved out. Your problems are there, you think you might know how to fix them, but you lack direction on how to get them fixed. In addition, you feel hopeless that they can be fixed.

A really good MC can provide direction and guidance to slowly move from one problem to the next. It sound like you both are just talking about EVERY problem without any direction or focus.

Laser focus, dear.

For example - the intimacy issue. It takes focus to work on that, but you can't work on that until other things are fixed first. You probably know that, but you're probably not working ONLY on the foundation before trying to build the bridge. It doesn't work like that. After the foundation of your M and R is rebuilt (if it can be) you can work on these intimacy issues. It is not uncommon to have a high-drive(HD) partner and a low-drive(LD) partner in a relationship. Most are like that. But if you start feeling close to your H again emotionally, you'd be willing to "gift" him intimacy and show him love in that way. I gather that is one way he feels love. You can't give him that until you start meeting your needs as well, and you have to build trust and a foundation first.