Hi all, Some may remember me from 4 years ago as "fandgmom" - if my threads are still here, you can read what I went through by doing a search for my previous screenname. (I think)
Anyway, long story short...I feel like my H and I are back to square one again. He is unhappy, depressed, feels like a failure and is messed up in the head with all kinds of negative thoughts. He is back to saying/feeling he knows he loves me, but doesn't feel completely in love with me and he doesn't know why. This time is different because he is not blaming me or projecting onto me in any way at all. He says it's all him, not me - and that I haven't done anything wrong in his mind. There have been underlying issues since we got back together 4 years ago. Since then, and as good as things were alot of the time, I truly believed that he only came back for the sake of the kids and that is why he is back in this rutt again now. I don't think the issues within himself were ever resolved when we got back together. Also, since being back together, I've found out alot of stuff goes on behind my back. I know there was communication between him and the OW where she emailed him a nude picture. I know he emailed a previous so-called stalker woman of his and asked her to send him some pictures. He got into a relationship in Feb. of this year with a girl on FB - and I found a message from him to her that was so incriminating. He is aware that I know. Of course I've flipped out many times regarding all these instances, most of all the one in February, I told him I wanted a divorce. He begged and pleaded and promised me that with me is where he wants to be. And with regard to the thing in Feb. he said he was doing it for attention and doesn't know why. He knows/knew it was wrong and just feels so screwed up in the head. He went to a counselor a couple times and then stopped. Just two weeks ago I discovered that he had communication again with the girl from February. Then last week I found a message he sent to another on girl FB telling her that "her friend is pretty awesome, but don't tell her I said anything".
There's alot more detail involved but obviously I can't write it all out.
Guys/Girls - I am SOOOO lost. I don't even know what I feel anymore. I don't know what to do or think or feel. Do I belong in this forum or somewhere else?
