MLC spouse projecting their negativity onto the BS

[mentalradio]

Hi Mach1. I'm a dunce. Can you tell me how to find other posters' messages?

I believe that this "could" be the seed that wakes her up. Nothing is going to be quick. She will not wake up in one instant and do a 180 from where she is. Like Mach said this could be the start of where she hits bottom and starts back up, or it could push her deeper into the hole.

So, do you think the best thing I can do is give her space, leave her be, and just be a patient observer?

Radio I would not focus on your W or her behavior or whether this will snap her out. It is useless to try to get into anyone's head and figure it out. Focus on you. If you don't save you, your M will not be saved.

I guess I'd ask you the same question I asked Lance above. It may be ego-talk, but I don't feel like I'm [over] focusing on my wife's behaviors/actions, and certainly don't feel like I'm trying to 'solve this MLC problem'. I feel like what I am doing is asking ton's of questions [from people more experienced than me with MLC], so that I can learn to identify what some of the catalysts for change are, in general, with a person in MLC...good or bad change...

I do realize I alone cannot control the outcome (i.e. save my marriage). Afterall, it takes two hands to make a clapping sound right?