INTERESTED IN MLC FOR LBS

[ericmsant2]

Bobby,

My wife was upset because the moving estimate people did not come again.

So she is upset…not your problem. Her problem.

She asked if I had called them and cancelled it. I was surprised as I have no idea who she is using

I wonder why she would say this Bobby…have you done anything in the past that would make her think that you would have cancelled it. Or is she just MLC crazy?

She told me that with the bad weather she was going to still move out without furniture and sleep on the floor if she had to.

IMO – she is saying this to you to make you understand that she is serious about moving. Bobby I think I have mentioned this to you before…right now..in her mind…she is probably done..yet she is confused, so she is going to do thing that make her feel like she is making the right choice. Do not respond to any of these. Keep detaching…keep detaching.

I thought to myself I hope she knew to turn on utilities and internet because she has never lived out on her own or had to set things up.

Please do not offer to help or remind her to do anything. In some cases, this is going to be viewed as controlling or like you do not think she is capable of doing this on her own. If I recall your W was a stay at home mom – correct? If so, then she is probably a lot like mine. The steps that she is taking is to proving something to HERSELF. In order to fuel her fire, she has convinced herself that YOU are the problem. The more you let her go, let her figure this out – the better off you both will be.

Once again Bobby – you cannot fix this. You can fix YOU though.

My lawyer did say that he did not feel the court would agree with her transporting my daughter everyday to catch the school bus when she is moving to another school district.

I my case, I explained to my L that I did not want the D BUT I have learned to listen to what the L says. Right now, my advice would be to listen to the L as long as they are not pushing the D. Another keep piece of advice, STFU – and I mean STFU. Do not mention anything to your W – nothing at all. She want’s to talk about the D, tell her that you are not ready to contribute to the conversation but you are more than willing to listen. Then dude…just listen. Also, start to journal what is going on.

I am just doing my own thing now

Good…very good.

In many ways I feel like I am dealing with a teenage daughter instead of a wife.

Dude I know how you feel. Man do I. They do become teenagers. Did you guys marry at a young age? Does your W know who she is outside of the M? In my case, we married young…my wife missed out on that time in her life where she was suppose to be a freewheeling spirit if you know what I mean. The crisis hit and now she is trying to live that period of her life that she missed. Nothing you can do about it but stay out of the way.

Inspite of this I still very much love her and will hang in there.

Remember this line buddy…you will need to refer back to it in the future. So how much do you love her? Do you love her enough to let her go? Do you love her enough to respect her choice even if they are different than yours? Do you love her enough to do the work on yourself? Many people come here professing their love for their spouse and then things get ugly, then things get really tough and the tendency is to forget this love. Don’t. Not for her…but for YOU.

Bobby…keep posting buddy. BTW it is okay to get angry dude..just not towards HER..come here to vent your anger.

God Bless,
Eric