Exactly. One of the hardest parts of my process was re-training myself to RESPOND RATIONALLY and STOP REACTING EMOTIONALLY. I grew up seeing my Dad react emotionally usually with anger. So I naturally thought that was ok. I eventually learned that it's not very mature, respectable and can sometimes get you into trouble. So now I am a lot more in CONTROL of HOW I ACT and RESPOND. One of the best ways to start teaching yourself is to set timelines when to respond.
Like the 24 or 48 hour window that you hear alot about on this board.
Another big point/realization I had to tackle during my process was figuring out why I NEEDED to be with someone that is able to hurt me as much as my X did. It eventually comes down to low self-esteem and pride of dealing with rejection. That is why DETACHING is so crucial so YOU no longer CARE what the other person thinks of YOU so YOU can FOCUS on what you THINK and FEEL about yourself.
I think you NEED to take this time to FOCUS and WORK on YOU and what YOU NEED/WANT/DESERVE. Unfortunately, sometimes this process leads to you discovering that YOU dont really want your partner and that you were more IN LOVE with who YOU wanted them to be versus who they REALLY ARE.
