What they think is REAL. What they feel is REAL. It's as REAL as what you think and feel.
I can't speak to anyone else's experience but my own. In my wife's case, I can only agree with that statement in the context of how she perceives my failures in the marriage. However, that's only a small piece of the puzzle. For the past year my wife has made some very bad choices, and has yet to own up to them. When she makes a comment (less than two weeks ago) that my son should have to explain to the neighbors why she decided to move out, that's clouded judgement on her part. When my wife thinks it's okay that her EA partner left his own wife and children to pursue my wife, and in the meantime spends countless hours on the phone telling my wife he loves her, sends her pictures of divorce papers by e-mail and messages telling my wife to fantasize about having sex with him and spending 3 days in bed together, that's the equivalent of mental rape on his part, and completely foggy thinking/clouded judgement [of reality] on her part. There's no culture/religion in the world that explicitly condones infidelity (emotional or physical). My wife is not thinking straight TimeHeals. Her perceptions may seem real to her, but she's definitely not living in reality at this point in time.
