Oh, wait, don't use the word "dude". I did that once with my H and it really set him off!!lol.
Use his name, keep eye contact, but soften your expression.
Let him be 7. If YOU are an adult, he won't stay there--you have had a 7-year-old because the two of you have both been at the same level.
Just keep in the front of your mind. What do adults do? They state clear boundaries, they have clear goals, they don't dwell on the past.
When he starts acting up, validate. Prepare for it--he is going to do this at some point. H, I understand that you feel that way, etc, etc.
Adults validate. Because they see the value in it. Get him to talk about what is making him upset/angry--Oh! Don't ask why questions. Say, H--help me to understand how you feel about XYZ? "Why" puts people on the defensive.
Also keep in front of your mind who you want to be. You are wanting to be helpful. You are proud of that in yourself. Does it matter if the person appreciates your efforts? To an adult, not really. It is more important to stay true to you than anything else.
