I am a little bit older than you and so is my wife. If you really are trying to save your marriage then the thing is you need to stretch this out as much as possible.. The object is to outlast the MLC. Now I am not trying to say that you should have expectations. Eric and everyone else has given you excellent advice. You don't want to get into a legal battle, you want everything to go as smooth as possible but also as slowly as possible. You are a physician, I believe. So you might know something about hormones and what happens to them at midlife. If not then I suggest you drag out some books on the subject and study up on it.
Lance, Thank you as well. As doctors we are trained to have a plan and fix things. This is not the case here and a very hard lesson for me. I will work on me and see what happens. Bobby O
I did get legal help today and I feel better. I was told to wait and see what happens.The movers estimate still has not come in yet. If she goes then will see what happens. MLC=CONFUSION. Love you guys out there. Bobby O
Good to hear you hanging in there Bobby. Nobody is every prepared for the shocks and hurt involved with MLC. All we can do is take it one day at a time. It sounds like you're one day further down that path and doing better. Keep it up!
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
Today is another day. We are expecting bad weather today. My wife was upset because the moving estimate people did not come again. She asked if I had called them and cancelled it. I was surprised as I have no idea who she is using. She told me that with the bad weather she was going to still move out without furniture and sleep on the floor if she had to. I thought to myself I hope she knew to turn on utilities and internet because she has never lived out on her own or had to set things up. My lawyer did say that he did not feel the court would agree with her transporting my daughter everyday to catch the school bus when she is moving to another school district. In any case I just see my wife stressed and more confused as ever. I am just doing my own thing now. In many ways I feel like I am dealing with a teenage daughter instead of a wife. Inspite of this I still very much love her and will hang in there. Bobby O
MLC=confusion should be your mantra. If you expect her to not make any sense, it makes things a bit easier. My H is amazingly forgetful and I can't tell you how many times he's asked me whether I've read a certain book. Yet everytime he asks, I still find myself slightly surprised that he doesn't remember the last 10 times I said yes. Your W may not be remembering accurately when and if she scheduled the movers. If you can help it, try to prevent her from moving with nothing. If the movers don't get set up in time and she still insists on moving, at least send her off with an air mattress or something. As hard as it is, sometimes we need to look out for their best interest when they are failing to do it themselves...
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
Today is another day. We are expecting bad weather today. My wife was upset because the moving estimate people did not come again. She asked if I had called them and cancelled it. I was surprised as I have no idea who she is using. She told me that with the bad weather she was going to still move out without furniture and sleep on the floor if she had to. I thought to myself I hope she knew to turn on utilities and internet because she has never lived out on her own or had to set things up. My lawyer did say that he did not feel the court would agree with her transporting my daughter everyday to catch the school bus when she is moving to another school district. In any case I just see my wife stressed and more confused as ever. I am just doing my own thing now. In many ways I feel like I am dealing with a teenage daughter instead of a wife. Inspite of this I still very much love her and will hang in there. Bobby O
In many ways I feel like I am dealing with a teenage daughter instead of a wife.
Hmmm... no, you THINKyou are dealing with somebody acting like a teenager.
Things people feel:anger, excitement, apprehension, joy, fear, frustration, serenity, impatience, happiness, sadness, and so on.
Simply putting the word "feel" in front of a thought doesn't make it a feeling. It's a judgement that you are making: she is acting like a teenager, and it's close to name-calling. Let's think about that. Why are you calling your wife a "teenage daughter"?
Also, did your Lawyer say this really:
Quote:
My lawyer did say that he did not feel the court would agree with her transporting my daughter everyday .
Or are you editorializing by substituting the word "feel" for "think" again?
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
In many ways I feel like I am dealing with a teenage daughter instead of a wife.
Hmmm... no, you THINKyou are dealing with somebody acting like a teenager.
Things people feel:anger, excitement, apprehension, joy, fear, frustration, serenity, impatience, happiness, sadness, and so on.
Simply putting the word "feel" in front of a thought doesn't make it a feeling. It's a judgement that you are making: she is acting like a teenager, and it's close to name-calling. Let's think about that. Why are you calling your wife a "teenage daughter"?
LMFAO!!!
I'm lost......
How do you really know what Bobby O is feeling? Isn't that sort of a judgement as well?
Empathy does not judge. Empathy grows in an open heart that is willing to be vulnerable.
Quote:
How do you really know what Bobby O is feeling?
I do not know what anybody is feeling unless they tell me, but I do know that a judgement isn't a feeling. Feelings are things like anger, sadness and joy. Those are feelings.
"I feel like you are an idiot" is not a feeling. It's a judgement.
Last edited by TimeHeals; 09/02/1001:16 PM.
M-47,W-40,No kids D-filed 5/27/2010 Piecing - 10/21/2010 -=Soon to be banned=-
