What does this mean for me personally? My happiness, and more importantly, my entire sense of self worth was for a long time tied to the validation I received in the form of attention and approval from others, mostly - but not only - men. It started at a very young age when I learned that bringing good grades home got approval from mom and, the one I was really looking for, dad. Dad was an emotionally unavailable alcoholic but here we had common ground. He put stock in good grades. I became the "smart one". As I got older my need for approval shifted from my parents to my peer group but I still had the need for male attention ... and at that age, I discovered the best way to get attention was not with good grades (just the opposite really) but with sexuality. I even became a cheerleader (not really my style) because it was part of the image. I liked the company and attention of boys ... the more the merrier. Anyone who has read my sitch knows where this is going ... lets just say it gets worse before it gets better.
Now, the other part of this is that my best friend, and I mean friend - not the kind with benefits - during my entire childhood was a guy. Our moms were best friends and we became friends at the age of 5. We stayed friends until highschool. Our friendship taught me that guys were just less complicated than girls. There was so much less cattiness (sp?) and competition ... no bitchiness and viciousness. I was bullied by a girl from grade one to grade 8 so I know plenty about just how vicious girls on the playground can be. I hung out with and learned to love the joking banter and one-up-man-ship in the guys circles. No hairspray, no PMS, no hidden-3-way calls about who is talking about who. Nope. It was awesome.
PEI.....Something about all of this is kinda disturbing to me.
That you can be absolutely judgmental about other women, and what you assume they are going to be like, without actually taking that chance....
Yet completely 100% differently NON-judgmental about the attention of men.
For me, it would seem to be the exact ingredient needed to fuel a "cougar" mentality.
Are you comfy with this ?
And the kind of men, that actually attracts ?
I mean comfortable enough to pass that down to a daughter?
