Sure he wants to save his marriage, but at what expense? His dignity?
That's just it....it's not up to us to judge why John wants to save his marriage or how much it is worth to him. That is his choice. He asked for help to save the marriage, and that's what I am focusing on. I think he has a good shot at saving this marriage.
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Is it fair to say John is manipulating his Wife ? NO.
Is John being manipulated by his Wife? Yes
Really? A week ago her answer to going to Retrouvaille was "No F@#king way!" now she has agreed to go and passed the test of the phone call. Did she manipulate him into that? No. He successfully encouraged her to go. And now he has successfully encouraged her to fall apart and not know what she is doing.
He may not manipulate, but he is very good at encouraging her to do what he wants her to do.
And while we are at it, I know it wasn't your post, but black widow spider imagery. A little misogynist, don't you think? Women weave their webs to catch the men? And then what? We kill them?
