Hi CW! Thanks for stopping by. I haven't posted for awhile cuz I was having a wobble and waiting to see if XH would resume communication after his vacay/trip out of town.......So here is my update......

Journaling............
XH told me he was planning to return last thursday (~ 1 week ago). I had gone silent, waiting to see if he would initiate communication. ........Seriously, with the 2 yr bombaversary coming up on Sept 12th I am questioning whether it is time to move on for good. I've been reading others' threads and thinking a LOT! I finally found Cadet's gem of a thread on the MLC board (as they say,....I am so far behind that I think that I am first blush) and this is giving me food for thought. I have also found Lance's and HeartsBlessing's comments on the Withdrawal stage very helpful! I've read in a number of places that when the walk-away starts coming around that THIS is the point where exasperated LBSs grow impatient and mess things up.........so I am thinking about this as well.

Anyway, on monday evening (8/30) I received a phone e-mail from XH with a photo of his mother in a hospital bed saying that he had been called by a nurse at X-MIL's facility @ 7AM that day (his 1st day back at work) to take her to the ER. She was admitted for the same old, same old (fluid retention, hi blood pressure) and will probably be discharged tomorrow. X-MIL was asking how my kitty and I were (pretty amazing since she doesn't remember a lot these days). Over the last 2 days XH and I exchanged ~10 e-mails, mostly about his mother. I sent him an e-mail describing observations I had made while visiting his mother recently (i.e. re: function of her oxygen tank, dental treatment she needs, etc) and he was grateful. Friendly stuff. I hinted a bit about table tennis (my coach told me I'm ready for a faster, professional racquet [YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!]), thinking he might want to play, but he didn't pick up on it.

Also, today XH e-mailed the same message to both his sister (X-SIL) and me simultaneously. His sister had started e-mailing both XH and me the same messages a few weeks ago, and now XH has done the same. Seems like it could be a reconnection thing. Don't know if this would be happening if there was a new OW??

My sense from all of this is the following:

--XH's recent subtle withdrawal (no recreational outings in 2 weeks, and no laughey-jokey e-mails in 1 1/2 weeks) is either due to new OW or Withdrawal stage (thanks to Lance for clarification on that). As they say here "3 steps forward and 2 steps back". If there is a new OW I don't think it is a very strong connection or XH wouldn't be communicating as much with me as he has and is. His mother is a big bond between us. It's almost like the universe arranged her hospital admission to pull us back together again????? XH is pretty picky when it comes to women --- he tends to be kind of a perfectionist in certain ways --- so when he left I felt pretty certain he would never remarry. He has control issues because of growing up with chaos and it's difficult for anyone to measure up to his standards.

--XH's Withdrawal began right after we had a fabulous evening playing table tennis with with the Chinese couple. Added to this, the 2 year bombaversary, our wedding anniversary, AND my birthday are in ~ 2 weeks. All of this may have freaked him out a bit..........so I will live my life, plan GAL activities for that weekend (CW, definitely some spa action --- I need some pampering!), watch, and respond as XH initiates. I think the next 2 weeks will be telling in my situation.

Sorry this was long, but it helps to write it all down.

GAG