Thats what I am trying to say, do waht works and follow through, you dont follow through you cave. We alll have backslides but you backslide, for a moment and then backslide again.
One thing I have done is recognize when the W is trying to manipulate or control, I try not to be a pr!ck but I put my foot down, when she apologizes, I dont get all melty man, I say thank you for the apology change the subject to the kids or say I am have to get going. I have been getting further along in my progress of not getting sucked in to her "vortex". Where you keep reaching for the outside but you are still in her spin, its like a web, as they used to call women the black widow, you get stuck in their web, you want out of it, but your stuck.
Now when you stay out of their grip long enough you stay out of their web, you are not their for them to see you stuck in their web and they can chew on you or nag you because you arent there.
Sometimes I feel W plays the game better than I. She reaches a bit like I have posted over the weekend, I was cordial and responsive, but as she kinda goes dark, I dont pursue at all. I am trying to be strong and let her know I am not there. When I try to assume, or read her mind I get all maybe she is coming back, then I tell myself this is not going to work this quick.
I noticed in your post some people save their M's in a month, depending on the sitch that could be good or bad. YOu dont want to scare your spouse in to coming back too early. That is why I stress the fact the WAS needs time to really think about what they are doing, if they come back out of fear that will not work. My first separation went like that it was 6 months and i think she came back out of fear, we didnt really fix either of our issues, we went back to trying again, and here I am again. It doesnt happen that quick time is what is needed, stop making yourself think this will be fixed tomorrow.
