Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

DSH,

I can understand your frustration. We're all different. Some of us are slow learners, other can quickly turn their M around in a month. Obviously, I'm probably one of the worst DB'er in history - I recognize that.

But I do have some moments of sanity and clarity every now and then. They're coming more and more frequently now. I REALLY and I mean really, have started to come out of this fog - and it has taken me nearly 2.5 months to do so. Most people would have figured it out long ago. I obviously haven't, but I'm still learning. I keep posting here with EVERY action I take not because I wish for someone to give me an attaboy - I expect and hope for the opposite. I post here so that I can get advice on what I've done wrong, not what I've done right.

I'll quickly admit I'm probably the worst at detaching and moving on and keeping expectations low, if at all. I know you guys get it - I love my W and want to save my M. I know you people understand me and the pain I'm in. That's why I keep coming back for more 2x4's over and over.

I think that when I try a tactic I don't stick with it long enough. I went dark for 3 days. ONLY 3 days. And what happened? She pursued the crap out of me. She was crying about it. And what did I do? Reverse back to old habits and let her control me.

At least at this point I can recognize the cycle. I'm still learning. It will take more time and test my resolve. I only ask you all keep with me here and keep the fire burning.