dude, being bitter and angry is going to kill you. but that's a choice you make. not me)
That's a great line if he IS bitter and angry still!
i don't want to mind read but my guess is that he still is.
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Reflective, sad guy? Don't clobber him.lol. This one is my favorite.lol.
compassion would be key here. it might be the only thing to combat bitterness.
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Tell him you own 50% of the problems and he owns 50%. That is the truth and on some level he will know it. Plus your admitting something will get him curious about you.
i don't think i'll use numbers. he's pretty pissed off about the 50/50 split on assets. and he kept using that against me .. so i rather just say .. we were both responsible. i should have gone to him but i wasn't sure how to approach the subject. i wasn't looking for a d. but i wanted to know how we could work out our issues. my h isn't much of a talker so i often felt that i couldn't go to him for anything. i should have tried anyway.
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They want to know what YOU know. Then you tell him that you are sorry for a lot of things and wish there were things you could do differently. Again, he'll be all ears.
would this not push him away? that's like talking about the r. if he's still pissed, me wanting to work on the r while he's ready to make a run for it .. it won't work.
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It's a scary conversation to an extent, but I tell you, you won't be sorry to have it--you'll be surprised and find it interesting on many levels.
he's a 7 yr old. i can already picture how it's going to go. two words: temper tantrum.
the funny thing is .. he wants to pay a lawyer $400 to fight over a $150 baseball (signed). it totally makes no sense and that's why my lawyer is advocating that i go talk to him.
h - when you see yourself doing something badly, and nobody is bothering to tell you or correct you, it means they've given up on you.
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You can see it in them--they are "heard" and feel "understood". Validation is a very powerful tool. It's not agreeing with what they say, it's saying you can see how they would think that way.
i'd have to try this.
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Let me ask you this: Would you date a guy that left his W? the way your H left you? I know I wouldn't--no way! If I date a guy that has been married, it's going to be one that didn't file and at least tried. A LBS for me or nothing!lol.
i don't know if i would date a divorcee - WAS or LBS. i would rather stay single. i couldn't go through another round of this.
