Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

interestingly enough, she caved today. She called me from downtown freaking out and crying because she couldn't find the mediators office. She was hysterical crying and upset. She couldn't find the place so she didn't go.

I asked her if she needed anything, she asked if it would be OK to come to the house and see me. I said yes, that would be fine.

She came over. She talked about how painful and difficult this is. She then asked me what's going on, why haven't you talked to me in three days? I said I was taking some time to figure out how I felt about her given all that has happened.

I backslid a few times in our conversation - went back into old behaviors when she pulled the same crap to lure me in, fell for it a couple of times. Couple of times I didn't. It's really hard to break old R habits.

I didn't want to talk about the R, but she said, "I don't understand why you were so cold to me, I never thought it would be like this, I thought we would always be friends but now you won't even do that"

I replied with, "I don't have to be your friend. I just have to get along with you. I've finally been able to step out of the fog of our R and it's failure, and I'm just not sure how I feel about you anymore."

Tonight she told me that in her perfect world she would be able to be with me and be happy. That's a change of her tune that she's been singing. She says that she doesn't see how we can get there, and she has no evidence that my changes are happening for any long amount of time, so she is still heading down the path of D for her sake.

Whatever.

A few times tonight she said, "Whatever" after asking me a direct question and not liking my answer. I stood up to her, told her that it was disrespectful to talk to me like that and I wouldn't allow it. She got a little pissy, but hey, whatever.

She is still trying to be my puppeteer and pull my strings. It's not working the same way it did before. So, she gets upset. Comes to me all wah wah I'm sad, and I somewhat give her comfort.

I was duped again.