wonderful marriage hits midlife crisis

[Albuquerque]

TAMF,

I'm sorry you're here too but know that this place is a great forum to vent, scream, cry, question, etc. You will find a lot of good advice from those who are much further along in the process.

We are "friends" and talk/text everyday

Bad idea. How is that working out for you? You plan on being his friend until he finds somebody else? Awfully nice of you.

Go dim. Back way off. Only communicate when it's about logistics/financial kinds of things.

I would take issue with this statement because I'm in much the same situation. IMHO, the decision on how to handle the situation should be left to the individual spouse who is most familiar with the situation. Detachment is the key. The reason we go dark/dim is for the LBS not the MLCer. If the detachment is there and the LBS spouse feels that more communication won't hurt, I don't see the issue. Sorry, didn't mean to hijack the thread, I just worry when blanket directives are given without knowing the full backstory....

TAMF, read and reread about detachment. It's clear you're not there yet since you are still allowing his actions to affect YOU. It's not easy, and I can't say I'm completely there yet either. But it does help to make everything much more tolerable.