Your H has to demonize you to justify what he knows deep down inside HE DID wrong. It's that simple. If he can demonize you as a bad wife etc in his mind he feels justified for destroying the marriage. It's not about you really, it's about him easing his own guilt with his own mind.
He has to erase you from his life as if you never existed. My XW did the same thing. It's their way of coping with their own demons and guilt. It's not our problem. It's theirs to own!
I feel the same way about marriage now as you do. Never want that piece of paper ever again. It just makes me financially vulnerable to another person. Never again! But I do know I can love again. Maybe not as deeply as I did for my XW but who knows how we will feel years from now. Right now it is hard for me to trust my heart to somebody completely. I can but just not 100% yet. I am very guarded of my deeper emotions and never want to trust somebody that much ever again so I know exactly how you feel.
It may not be healthy but it is what it is. For now. Most of us here have membership jackets in the broken hearts club. What color do you want and what size? It will get better honey. Trust me. I never thought it would but I see now it will.
Me:48 W:55 M:22 T:23 Bomb:19Nov09 S:15Jan10 D:11Feb10 EA:Confirmed on 20Apr10 Fast track to her divorcing me