He's like a shell of a real person. I know that sounds mean. I honestly think he's of weak character. Again mean, but I'm being honest. He's not "manning up".
As we move through this process and especially when we start to move out of the trauma of what has happened...
Our focus switches from trying to get our spouse back...
because that will validate us.
To actually scrutinizing the person you married.
I mean looking at them in the harshest of critical light.
It is normal to do this and question this.
My other thread is "W has PTSD and is MLC" and round about p. 30 or so I describe that happening.
only a couple of months ago.
As I said everyone is different but I do think it is normal when you get your wits back and you really start to heal that you question who you are married to.
Only you can say whether there is anything there that is worth an investment of your time.
I believe everyone is capable of the same growth...
that there is more there than they are currently showing you.
But
I found that my decision to continue was for me.
Each step along the way I have found things that I never understood that I never imagined possible.
It has all come from pushing forward with faith in myself.
Faith in this process to reveals things I am meant to learn.
When I am ready to learn them.
I do want to "have someone".
I do "have" someone. Someone who is scared and confused right now.
It is not an ideal life.
But
This tragedy has given me an amazing gift....
This is not for the squeemish. This is not the average choice.
You had to set your sights above mediocrity to get where you are now
Above the average.
Is there more?
Only you can say.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
