How should I proceed now? Is there hope?

[NotCrackingUp]

Thanks, Kara. I fully realise he was unhappy with some aspects of our marriage, I've done a lot of soul-searching and recognise that I failed in some ways. But it took the two of us, he has always known I loved him dearly, he only had to speak out clearly and calmly. He chose to remain silent, and I suppose resentment set in and made him available to the other woman. I'm not a mind-reader, I couldn't know what he wasn't telling me.I seem to be laying the blame, but in fact I've always said to him that I see my failings and am willing and able to work on them, that we just got into bad habits of brushing things under the carpet as a couple, when we were working so hard. I felt and feel that we could have weathered and worked it out. He chose to run. What remains is for me to work on those failings on my own, keep my head high and advance. However, my confidence as a woman was largely based on his love for me; it has taken such a beating that it's very fragile.

I've been reading lots of postings, have found lots of stories similar to mine. I just haven't dared butt in - most of you seem to have been to counsellors or therapists, have all the lingo. We went to one session, he spoke first. The guidance counsellor turned to me and said: " Madame, your husband is very clear - he doesn't want to be with you anymore. You have to accept his decision. it's over."So much for counselling.Finding one that would be pro-marriage in this country would be a miracle. It's the cradle of the rights of man and individual freedom.That's fine, but the result is that 2 out of 3 marriages end in D and the lawmen have second homes and yachts!
NotCrackingUp