Hope, you are absolutely doing the right thing--your H NEEDS to have the wind taken out of his sails and the calm only makes you have those unrealistic fantasies about what you wish he was--and you need to keep focus on what he REALLY is.
I have my own battle going on here--I'm going to remove the tile in my S's bathroom (it has mold growing in there--so unhealthy) and I'm also going to be installing the appliances that have been sitting in my garage for 9 months now (!) and expect a complete meltdown.
Funny thing is--when I do end up doing these types of things he respects me for it!!
