SA - I'm truly lost trying to figure out the things he does or why he does them.....
Lance - Yes both his mother & father called him that name....but so does his sister...and I did as well....so maybe it was dredging up some good memories???? Because he is feeling so bad about himself and he was called by that name when he was a "good boy"....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I had a feeling it was something like that. Couldn't tell whether it was good or bad. But you would know best. It is part of his teenage behavior that is for sure.
Today I took my D to take her driver's test...she passed...OMG she can drive by her self now. Don't get me wrong she is a very good driver...but still.
We talked about D driving my car in the future and since it's a newer expensive huge SUV, we agreed that maybe she should drive dad's older car for the first few times...just in case....we were joking and laughing about it. So she called her dad and asked to borrow his car. He said OK and I dropped her off at his place.
He was outside. I stayed in my car and after he talked to D for a bit he came up to my car and accusingly said "You won't let D drive your car?" The tone and the look he gave me was so judgmental....he made me feel like the worst mother...like if I was denying D the basic necessities of life. I got upset....I guess the way he talked to me brought back memories of the past year when he constantly criticized me and I reacted and angrily said "That's none of your business, that's between me and D" and I drove off. Boy was I boiling. When I calmed down I thought that I probably overreacted a bit, but by the time I got back home there was an apology e-mail from H in my mailbox.
H - about your car. I told D that I understand your reasoning for not letting her drive your car until she is more experienced. If I spent any time thinking about it before, I would not be asking you. If I came across as questioning you... I apologize, that wasn’t my intent.
Me - Thank you for the apology. I’m also sorry that I reacted so strongly. I got upset because I felt that you were questioning my judgment right away without hearing the whole story. Yes I told D that she can't have my car today, because I'll need it. I also told her that on most days I'll need it and that I can't be without a car for long. And yes we were joking that maybe she could start with driving your car before she gets into mine. Never did I say that I won't allow her to drive my car in the future. I'm a single parent now and I'm doing my best to make all the decision that we used to make together by myself. It’s only natural that you’ll not agree with all of them.... I’m very proud of D for passing the test, she is a good driver and I believed that she would make it. She was sooooooooo nervous.
This seems like a small incident... But somehow it truck me as significant. H seems to be more sensitive to my feelings and is willing to admit a mistakes and apologize. We are both trying to communicate better....
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Congrats on your D passing her test. You must be a proud mom. Hey, can I drive your car (nice big SUV)..LOL...just kidding.
On a serious note...
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We are both trying to communicate better.
This ^^^^ is a positive either way you look at it. Should you reconcile you will need this level of communication. Should you not reconcile...it will help with co parenting your D.
Oh...one more thing...can I borrow your car LMAO....
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I'm proud of D....apparently most of her friends failed and had to do the exam more the once...and she did it on the first try.
And BTW I think that I would trust you with my car
About our communication...you are right this is good no matter what happens next. I'm "mostly" done with my anger stage (mostly is the key word). And after seeing him without his "mask"...so broken and depressed the other day, my compassion is renewed...I feel for him I really do....and that makes it easier not to be so angry with him.
I find that in person I'm still little standoffish, but on the phone we are both more relaxed...even had a few laughs. Same with emails, last night we were teasing each other over texts.
Hope you are doing well eric
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Your post are always so compassionate. I am doing well. Thank you for asking.
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And BTW I think that I would trust you with my car
Thanks....can I pick up at 3 today. I have a date with a lovely 9 year old.
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I find that in person I'm still little standoffish
Same for me..I think detached is the words other would use..
God Bless you Mila...
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
Congrats to your daughter. I was so scared of the test, I didn't take it until was 17, and failed the first time, even though I had been driving since I was 15. I'm sure you already have, but just teach her to avoid the dangers you & I didn't have driving, such as cell phones and texting.
In my day, it was changing the 8 track while driving, and trying to put on mascara at the same time.
Eric, if you say "What the H is an 8 track", I will hunt you down and beat you.
