There is a children's book by Shel Silverstein that goes like this:
And as it rolled along it sang this song- "Oh I'm lookin' for my missin' piece I'm lookin' for my missin' piece Hi-dee-ho, here I go, Lookin' for my missin' piece"
Sometimes it baked in the sun
but then the cool rain would come down.
And sometimes it was frozen by the snow but then the sun would come and warm it again.
And because it was missing a piece it could not roll very fast so it would stop to talk to a worm
Originally Posted By: robx
so many what if's....
again my point in all of this was reading too much into it and making yourself ask a ton of questions that you will never really know the answers to unless she's here and speaks truthfully about what happened.
yet believe none of what they say and half of what they do
or in the words of Bill Murray "IT JUST DOESN'T MATTER!"
there is too much stopping to talk to worms. too much analyzing. way too much co-dependent behavior. whats the missing piece? a backup plan.
these things work so much better when the backup plan is set into motion way before the bomb, when there is a potential piece on the side, when they don't really know where you are going or what you are doing, when they are analyzing everything you say and do and going back and forth as to whether they should believe it or not.
the other night was the perfect betty crocker with a side of martha. letting her call your bluff then following up with flowers. nice. i would throw in a slice of oprah and take her out for cake.
Let her continue to think she is the cake eater.
It will buy you significant time. Time to come up with a plan.
Originally Posted By: pinhead
There is no backup plan.
Shame. Shame. Shame. You can't just keep pulling the loaf out of the oven each and every time you want some poon tang.
Originally Posted By: gucci loafer
Let's both move on. I am not sure what I feel about you anymore now either. I don't know why I haven't seen this before. I get it now."
THEN follow through on that..
that might have been your only piece with that line. Especially if you would have told her sex with you is a mistake.
how are you going to follow through?
get rid of the dog? help her look for apartments you can't afford? passive/aggressive behavior?
to be honest those are some pretty lame attempts.
Here is how its done. Before you say its time to move on. You have a place to move to and significant cash saved up. These apartments you are surveying should be for you. Two bedrooms and an office over looking the lake. Easy access to downtown and covered parking would be nice too. Realize there is an auditorium full of 'social interactions' waiting right outside your door. Learning how to talk to them will help you realize there is more to an relationship then finding the right counselor. Or realize, "it just doesn't matter."
Crumbs and mystery fruitcake. You should know a lot about those. Leave enough crumbs to let them think they can get control of the situation, but leave them also wondering what day does the cleaning lady come.
Leave them wondering if you are coming or going. He wants to separate. He wants to go to marriage counseling. He wants to separate. He's sending me flowers. What does this mean? What am I doing wrong? If I keep giving him sex will things work out?
So, you set the back-up plan into motion a little late. It's OK. The piece bumped along a long time before it found the right combination.
