AJ, you wrote: One thing is certain - there are multiple sides. Not all of the players are willing to see the other side which means the relationship is doomed.
And I think that's true. When one person isn't willing to be empathetic to the other person's needs/concerns, then where do you go from there. It's like a "boundary resistant" spouse. How can one deal with that?
The guilt & resentment is what a lot of us feel but know that you did not choose to end your M, you were not the one who wanted to date other people. That was her choice.
As you know, I am the one who moved out of my home. You mentioned "change." I was waiting and hoping for H to change. I kept telling him over and over again to go to MC with me and he would not do it, would see me crying and walk right past me, was packing up stuff in boxes a few days before I left, took and hid my wed. rings. I was so lost. Daggers in my heart. So I removed myself from living in an environment that wasn't working for me and I told him, let's work this out. But he said there was no way, that he couldn't see how, how MC would not benefit us. So not all those who leave don't want to try but I DO firmly believe with your statement that if 1 person can't even empathize w/ the other person, refuses to see things from their POV, then that is where things get clouded. From now on I will not seek out any type of R, friendship or acquaintance that is laking in empathy. The cost is too high.
Know that you were willing to work on your M and she was not. You have nothing to feel bad about. You tried.
