How should I handle MLC direct lying?

[Truegritter]

Let me approach your dilemna from a different angle.

Why do you want to leave?

I got this from your first post

And I'm feeling pretty fed up with that. I MIGHT want to be free to pursue who/what I want. And that certainly includes a healthy relationship w a healthy person.

Any other reasons?

I understand these reasons.

I have felt that way.

For me these reasons describe a lack of something. Which is an expectation of what you need from someone else to be happy.

Fed up with what our spouses aren't giving us.

I always get tripped up by my vows here.

I promised to love and honor, for better or worse,

Well its true this is the worse.

So my love and my vows were conditional.

I will promise to do that(love and stay) as long as my spouse is giving me what I want or need.

If I am leaving because of that then that is the wrong reason in my opinion.

My W doesn't want a divorce. Your H doesn't want one.

Also you read my thread and part of this is an expression of who I am and what I believe.

All this is so personal to the individual but if you haven't spent time finding who you are

You will not be making decisions based on that.

You will be reacting to some great wrong that was done to you or something you're not getting from someone else.

Isn't that what our spouses did?

Self righteousness is a substitute for happiness.

When this is out of our thinking. Then we are healing.

Move on (or forward) when there is no more doubt and there is no more anger and self righteousness.

When you have embraced compassion.

When you have forgiven.

Yourself and your spouse.

Until that happens you will do a disservice to yourself and anyone who comes into your life.