I've been following along as of late, and wanted you to know that I really feel for you, and I'm pulling for you.
You have the patience of a saint.
Having never been in piecing I can only imagine what it must be like to walk that tight rope made of dental floss.
I'm not at all encouraging you to become impatient or pushy at this point in time. It's just that to really piece things back together, it's going to take the both of you. I'm not so sure that he is there yet.
In piecing, the occasional R talk should be alright IMO, in fact essential. You can't fear them. Nor can you fear expressing your feelings, concerns and boundaries.
I'm not saying that this is to be done daily, weekly or even monthly but IMO it HAS to take place in order to piece.
Again, I am in no way telling you that this is the right time to start with that, I think you're doing alright by being patient, it doesn't sound like he is completely ready and no one or no thing can speed him along.
Hang in there, keep digging deep and keep coming here to vent.
