Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[Coach]

Didn't want to post that here cause she might find it.

Doing the right thing then worrying about her feelings? (Co-dependent) The thing is she will respect you for standing up for yourself.


What was it like working in the soup kitchen?

[john28]

Working in the soup kitchen was quite a humbling experience. I journaled on my own about it, far too lengthy to put here.

Basically, it gave me an appreciation for what I have/had.

Some of the men were complaining about the food served. I didn't understand how they thought they had a RIGHT to a certain kind of food. As an analogy, I thought I had a RIGHT to a loving family. I didn't understand that it was a privledge, not a right. I couldn't complain and not foster love and expect to have a loving family.

It really was quite a moving experience. One woman with her two sons who were twin boys about 2 years old came in last. They weren't wearing shirts and she was in dirty ripped clothes. We were out of food. I ran around trying to find them something, adn we found a little more. We gave it to them and she was cramming food into the boy's mouth. They were crying and she said, "Boys i done told you - you gotta eat cause we ain't comin back here till tomorrow and you gotta eat so stop ya crying"

Broke my heart, but at the same time made me appreciate a loving family.

I treated everyone there with respect, I called everyone Sir or Ma'am. I helped them as best as I could. Asked about their days. Some were very sad stories about their day. Maybe I'll post my journal about it later today.

I went home and all I wanted to do was tell my W and S how much I loved them and appreciated and respected them. Instead I went home to an empty house.

[Coach]

A change in perspective normally helps use see things. Being grateful is a gift. That sounds like a pretty powerful experience, that's a great activity for you - it's Win-Win. Stay focused on taking care of yourself, that includes your new volunteer work.

Cheers

[TimeHeals]

Basically, it gave me an appreciation for what I have/had.

Good. Make a list of 10 things you are grateful for in your life now every day for the next 10 days.

[PMA_Baby!]

Very inspirational. Nice job.

Glad to hear it went well and that you followed thru with it. Now make a list of all your short/long term goals and stick to those as well.

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Working in the soup kitchen was quite a humbling experience. I journaled on my own about it, far too lengthy to put here.

Basically, it gave me an appreciation for what I have/had.

Some of the men were complaining about the food served. I didn't understand how they thought they had a RIGHT to a certain kind of food. As an analogy, I thought I had a RIGHT to a loving family. I didn't understand that it was a privledge, not a right. I couldn't complain and not foster love and expect to have a loving family.

It really was quite a moving experience. One woman with her two sons who were twin boys about 2 years old came in last. They weren't wearing shirts and she was in dirty ripped clothes. We were out of food. I ran around trying to find them something, adn we found a little more. We gave it to them and she was cramming food into the boy's mouth. They were crying and she said, "Boys i done told you - you gotta eat cause we ain't comin back here till tomorrow and you gotta eat so stop ya crying"

Broke my heart, but at the same time made me appreciate a loving family.

I treated everyone there with respect, I called everyone Sir or Ma'am. I helped them as best as I could. Asked about their days. Some were very sad stories about their day. Maybe I'll post my journal about it later today.

I went home and all I wanted to do was tell my W and S how much I loved them and appreciated and respected them. Instead I went home to an empty house.

Mods, where's that "Like" button???


Puppy

[sandi2]

My grandmother use to tell me this: "I complained that I had no shoes until I saw a man who had no feet".

[john28]

For those of you interested in my experience at the soup kitchen, here is my journal for that. I've never volunteered for a soup line before.

Today I went and volunteered for the soup line in downtown <city>. What a humbling experience.

These people lined up from all over for food. I helped them get their food, got them drinks, made sure they were comfortable, and treated them with dignity and respect. They probably don’t get much respect in their situations. I felt bad for them. I addressed every man there as ‘Sir’. I said “thank you ma’am” to every woman I encountered. I wanted to show respect despite their situation.

I wasn’t anyone special there. It didn’t matter that I drove a new car, lived in a nice house, or had a good job. They didn’t care. In fact, if I would have told them all that they wouldn’t have cared – they probably would have been angry. I was just one of the people who was going to help them get dinner tonight.

These people were in dire need of help. I was there to do my best, but I know that it didn’t make a difference in the grand scheme of things. I was just there for that moment in their lives to make sure they had everything they needed during dinner. They were hungry. They had not showered in days. The room smelled like something I’ve never smelled – the odor was unbearable at times. I had to leave the room several times, but I stuck it out. I thought that it was small price to pay to do something right and good.

I was truly humbled. I spoke with a lot of the people there about how their day was. At one point I was chatting with a man who was clearly homeless. Everything he probably owned was in a backpack next to him, and even that was pretty empty. I said at one point that “it sure was hot out there today”. He told me today was an easy day. He was able to sit behind a store in the shade today where he had a fountain drink cup that he could refill, but a few weeks back when it was in the 100’s he was kicked out of that spot by some other guys. He tried to sit under the trees throughout the day but that sun was just so hot. I didn’t know what to say. I told him I was glad he came to eat dinner with us tonight.

As I stood there helping these people, I realized that I am truly blessed. I have a home. I have food. I have a car. I have a wife. I have a child. They don’t want for much of anything. The guests today at the dinner wanted for everything. They had no home, food, car. Maybe they had a wife or husband or a child, but they couldn’t provide for them. They were barely making it on their own.

I was also amazed at the amount of disrespect that some of the men had. When they were in line, they got upset at the type of food that was being served at the time. They complained. They said they had three days ago. They didn’t understand that it wasn’t a RIGHT to have anything. We were there doing the best we could.

I see how that translates into my life. I thought I had a right to a good wife, family and son. I thought I deserved those things. I worked hard. I provided money for my family. I helped them do hard things. I didn’t have a right to be with them. Sometimes I treated my wife that way. Sometimes my son. Sometimes I didn’t.

What I didn’t do was treat my life with respect for what I had. I did have a good wife and son who loved me, and still do.

Maybe I didn’t complain about the food being served that day, but I surely didn’t thank them for everyday I had a meal. My life is such an analogy to those men that were complaining. They didn’t realize what they were being given was a gift. They didn’t have a right to that food. I didn’t realize my family was a gift. I didn’t have a right to have them.

The last person to come in was a mother with two little children, probably two years old. They weren’t wearing shirts. Her clothing was dirty and ripped. She was the last person in that day, and there wasn’t much food left. We managed to find some for them, and they sat down as our last guests. The two little boys were eating and the mother kept shoving more and more food in their mouth. I thought it was kind of crude the way she kept shoving food in their mouth like that while they cried. At one point she stopped and said, “Boys – I told you before to eat. You need to eat all this here because we ain’t gonna come back here till tomorrow so stop ya crying”.

That was painful to watch after that. I had to turn away and do something else. I couldn’t watch that. Instead I went to the back pantry and found some packaged chips and honey buns. It’s all I could find. I went back in there and gave them to the mother of the two boys. She thanked me once. I told her that she was welcome.

After I finished cleaning when the meal was done, all I wanted to do was go home and tell my wife and son how much I loved them and appreciated them. Shower them with love, show them I cared, and I would do anything for them. Treat my wife with the same respect I paid those women that I helped today. I wanted to show them, not just tell them, that I cared about them more than anything in this entire world. I wanted to tell my wife how much I appreciated and respected her in my life.

Instead, I went home alone to a house that was empty.

I didn’t have a right to go home to a loving family.

[Steve McQueen]

"I didn’t have a right to go home to a loving family."

*scratching head*

why do you feel you need to take the blame that your wife repeatedly cheats on you?

[pinhead]

"I didn’t have a right to go home to a loving family."

*scratching head*

why do you feel you need to take the blame that your wife repeatedly cheats on you?

Agreed. You need to accept your responsibility, but also let your wife own what she's done.